November 23, 2007


How important does a person have to be before they are considered
assassinated instead of just murdered?
Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in
for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What was wrong with cured ham?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up
like every two hours?
Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON TV?
How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing.
If I had any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place.
A defendant was on trial for murder. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. In the defense's closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, resorted to a trick.
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all," the lawyer said as he looked at his watch."Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom."
He looked toward the courtroom door.
The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked on eagerly. A minute passed. Nothing happened. Finally the lawyer said, "Actually, I made up the previous statement. But you all looked on with anticipation. I therefore put it to you that you have a reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty."

The jury, clearly confused, retired to deliberate. A few minutes later, the jury returned and pronounced a verdict of guilty.
"But how?" inquired the lawyer. "You must have had some doubt; I saw all of you stare at the door."
The jury foreman replied: "Oh, we all did look, but your client didn't."

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