November 23, 2007

WORDS OF WISDOM - SOMETIMES

"If you do not know where you are going, any road will take you there."
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YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO HOME, BUT YOU'VE GOT TO GET THE HELL UP OUT OF HERE.
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THE FLOOD CARRIED OFF MY WIFE AND MY SILVER POCKET WATCH - THAT WAS A GOOD WATCH.
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I WOULD RATHER BE A LAMPPOST IN NEW YORK, THEN THE PRESIDENT OF FRANCE.
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MOTHER TO A FIREMAN - THANK YOU FOR SAVING OUR CHILD.
FIREMAN - GOD SAVED HIM, I JUST CARRIED HIM OUT.
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ABUSED CHILD -- I WANT TO LIVE WITH MIKE TYSON
SOCIAL WORKER - WHY?
CHILD - HE CAN'T BEAT ANYONE.
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HE LIVED A LIFE OF GOING TO DO
---- AND HE DIED WITH NOTHING DONE.
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YOUNG WOMAN - I AM KIND OF SPECIAL - AT PARTIES, I PEEL THE LABELS OFF BOTTLES.
OLDER MAN - MY DEAR, WE ALL PEEL LABELS OFF BOTTLES.
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A MAN SAYS WHAT HE MEANS.
A WOMAN LAYS TRAPS TO SEE, IF A MAN CAN GUESS WHAT SHE MEANS.
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A WOMAN CAN MAKE A FOOL OUT OF A MAN OR A MAN OUT OF A FOOL.
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THEY ARE NOT LONG, THE DAYS OF WINE AND ROSES.
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THE QUESTION IN 2008, IS NOT IF YOU ARE PARANOID;
THE QUESTION IS, ARE YOU PARANOID ENOUGH.
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YOU JUST SHOT AN UNARMED MAN.
IF HE WANTED TO GO AROUND UNARMED, THAT WAS HIS BUSINESS.
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BILL -- I NEVER WANTED TO BE MUCH.
JOHN - THEN YOU SHOULD TAKE PRIDE IN HAVING REACHED YOUR GOAL
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SHE GAVE HIM A LOOK, YOU COULD HAVE POURED ON A WAFFLE.
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A MOTHER'S DESCRIPTION OF HER SON --->> HE ALMOST CAME IN SECOND, IN A THREE MAN RACE.
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COP --- SO, HE HIT THE BOTTLE ?
WIFE- NOT AS HARD AS THE BOTTLE HIT HIM
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SOON AFTER ARRIVING, A MAN LEAVING A PARTY HOSTED BY IDLE RICH FRIENDS OF HIS FIANC√ČE SAID, "I AM GOING HOME.”
PARTY HOST – “DO YOU LIVE FAR FROM HERE?”
FIANCEE - “YES, I DO.”
HOST – “WHERE DO YOU LIVE?"
FIANCEE – “IN REALITY.”
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THERE WAS AN EPISODE OF DEATH VALLEY DAYS, WHERE RONALD REAGAN WAS BOTH THE SHOW'S HOST AND STAR CHARACTER.
RR PLAYED A NEW YORK CITY COP, WITH 20 YEARS EXPERIENCE, APPLYING FOR A JOB AS A TOWN MARSHAL OUT WEST, CIRCA 1880.THE PEOPLE IN THE TOWN HAD A MEETING AND MOST OF THEM LAUGHED AT RR WHEN THEY SAW HIS EASTERN SUIT, DERBY HAT AND HIS SMALL CALIBER PISTOL, IN A SHOULDER HOLSTER.
THEY TOLD HIM THAT NEW YORK WAS BACK EAST IN A CIVILIZED AREA OF THE COUNTRY AND THEY WERE OUT WEST, IN A RAW AND UNTAMED TERRITORY -- WAS HE EQUIPPED TO HANDLE THAT LEVEL OF LAWLESSNESS?
RR PAUSED, LOOKED AT ALL THE PEOPLE AND THEN TOLD THEM THAT, HE DID NOT KNOW HOW BAD THINGS WERE IN THIS TOWN, HOW GREAT THE CRIMINAL ACTIVITIES WERE IN THEIR TOWN -- BUT THAT HE HAD DONE VERY WELL IN NYC. ONE LONE VOICE CALLED OUT A QUESTION -- RR ANSWERED THE QUESTION AND HE WAS GIVEN THE JOB WITHOUT NEED FOR A VOTE -THEY JUST PINNED THE BADGE ON HIM AND THE MEETING WAS OVER WITHOUT ANY FURTHER CONVERSATION WHATSOEVER.

THE QUESTION -- "HOW BAD COULD CRIME BE IN NEW YORK CITY?"

RR -- "IN NEW YORK, WE CONSIDERED MANSLAUGHTER, A MISDEMEANOR."
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2004 --
IN THE MOVIE, "SOMETHING ABOUT MARY," CHRIS ELLIOT'S CHARACTER IS ASKED HOW HIS MARRIAGE IS GOING.
I CONTEND THAT LESS THAN 20 % OF THE PEOPLE WHO SAW THIS VERY POPULAR MOVIE, ACTUALLY UNDERSTOOD HIS ANSWER AND EVEN NOW, I DON'T THINK MORE THAN HALF WHO READ THIS WILL GET IT.

CHRIS SAID, "EVERYDAY IS BETTER THAN THE NEXT."
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2004
DEMOCRATIC CONGRESSMAN JOHN SPRATT OF SOUTH CAROLINA AND SENATOR KENT CONRAD OF NORTH DAKOTA WERE REPORTING ON THE CURRENT BUDGET DEFICIT AND THIS ANALOGY WAS GIVEN -- >
PRESIDENT BUSH IS APPROACHING THE DIFICIT, AS IF HE WAS THE CAPTAIN OF THE TITANIC AND HE HAS GOOD NEWS FOR US ---
THE SHIPPING IS NOT SINKING AS FAST AS HE FIRST ESTIMATED.

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