A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.
Suddenly, a tiny, yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table saying, "For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish."
"Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband," said the wife. The fairy waved her magic wand and -- poof! Two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.
The husband thought for a moment, and then said, "Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me."
The wife and the fairy were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish.
So the fairy waved her magic wand and -- poof!
The husband became 92 years old.
The moral of this story: Men who are selfish, ungrateful bastards should remember that fairies are female.
AS A WORLD FAMOUS CRITIC WITH THE GREENVILLE NEWS, IN SOUTH CAROLINA, I HAVE TO STEP FORWARD AND REFUTE THE MISINFORMATION IN THIS NARRATIVE.
WHILE THE HUSBAND WAS OUT WORKING TO SUPPORT HIS GOLD-DIGGING Heifer OF A WIFE, SO SHE COULD GET OUT OF THE COTTON FIELDS AND HAVE A HOME THAT WAS NOT ON WHEELS; SHE WAS BUSY SPREADING RUMORS AND LIES ABOUT HIM TO ALL HER OTHER GOLD-DIGGNG FEMALE FRIENDS.
SHE ACCUSED HIM OF BEING A POOR LOVER. A CHARGE THAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN THE RESULT OF HIS WORKING 18 HOURS A DAY TO PAY FOR THE DIAMONDS AND FURS, SHE WORE TO THE BLACK TIE EVENTS, HE PAID FOR HER TO ATTEND SO AS TO IMPRESS HER IGNORANT PALS IN THE MARRIED BEYOND THEIR STATION IN LIFE CLUB.
SO, WHEN THIS MISTREATED MAN GOT THE OPPORTUNITY TO SEEK ONE MOMENT OF PEACE AND AFFECTION WITH THAT RAREST OF ALL CREATURES -- A DECENT, KIND, LOVING, GENEROUS WOMAN, HE TOOK THE BAIT AND WAS ONCE AGAIN, BETRAYED AND ABUSED BY A FEMALE -THIS TIME A FAIRY.
THE TRUE MORAL OF THIS STORY:
WOMEN, YOU CAN'T LIVE IN PEACE WITH THEM, CAN'T GET A PIECE FROM THEM AND STILL THE LAW WON'T ALLOW YOU TO SHOOT THEM IN FRONT OF WITNESSES. THE TRUTH MUST BE SPOKEN, NO MATTER HOW MUCH THESE EVIL WOMEN WANT TO HIDE IT.
IF ANYTHING VIOLENT SHOULD HAPPEN TO ME OR I AM MISSING -- THERE ARE 3 BILLION SUSPECTS -- ALERT THE POLICE.